Sunday, November 29, 2009

Passion Lost

At 14 I picked up a guitar and sat down to play for the first time with vigor. Over the next few months the blood on the strings from hours of playing wasn't the only proof I had found my niche, I was getting good fast. For a beginner, I picked it up quick and thus began my love affair with music.

As I learned more songs I began to write my own. Looking back on it, they were some of the worst songs ever written, but to me they were legendary. Over the years I've written and recorded many songs, learned to play many instruments, played countless shows with a few bands, and played for fun for hours on end.

But in the past year and a half I've fallen away from the thing I once loved more than anything in the world. I don't play my guitar anymore. I haven't touched a piano in months. I have a lot inside me that I want to put to song, but when I sit to try and play...nothing comes out. I feel as if I've lost all I worked for.

So now what? I suppose I have to start at square one. I have to re-learn the basics. I want to be the musician I always hoped to be. Not in order to play in front of people. Not to be loved. To gain a better understanding of my life...of those around me.

So tomorrow, I'm getting new strings put on my guitar. I'm looking into buying a cheap piano (my old roommate got one for a dollar). I'm going to return to the world I belong to.

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